


Movie Nights

by PepperCat



Series: Velvet Detonation [4]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Animal Abuse, Axel is an unreliable narrator, Bad Decisions, Bad date, Bullying, Coping, Couch Surfing, Drinking to Cope, Dubious Consent, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Language, M/M, Making Out, Miscommunication, Movie Night, Protectiveness, Rats, Rejection, Unwilling Roommates, Violence, but the rat's fine, enemies to friends to mess, exploding icecubes, handjob, horror movies, it's not self-harm if you get someone else to hit you, or possibly just a sad one, plot-light, so many bad decisions, such good intent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 17:20:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7766611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperCat/pseuds/PepperCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Axel's pretty sure Piper's worth getting along with, and really just wants to be liked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> Set after the end of season 2 of Flash, but in the initial (pre-Flash Back) timeline, since I like Hartley as a Rogue. (Possibly not as unpleasant as the tags make it sound? It's hard for me to judge.)
> 
> Three of the chapters have interludes at the end not directly related to the main events of the chapter but not, I thought, quite capable of standing on their own. The formatting was a ridiculous PITA on this one; I'm still not sure I shouldn't have posted it as a single long piece.

Axel starts paying attention when Piper tries to kill him.

He wouldn't try to go to the Flash, even if he was around right now; Jesse _hated_ the Flash. But Cold's got it together, and Central's his city, and when Axel offered to help them find that pallid Dark guy if he's in town as long as they promise to not hurt Jesse, it worked out. (And after that's agreed Axel added that detail about Jesse actually _not being okay_ and working with Dark but it's not his fault, and none of them are really pleased but, you know, the agreement holds.)

Because Jesse wouldn't help Dark on his own, Axel knows. He _wouldn't_. There's no point in playing a trick if no-one's there to watch the finale, so Dark must have messed with him somehow, something out of the same grab bag as the rest of his life-sucking bullet-stopping finger-snapping tricks.

Must have. Axel's sure of it. So he keeps his head down, and since he doesn't really have much of a place to _go_ he spends most of his time in the safehouse. And Jesus does he get bored.

It is _not_ worth annoying Cold. His friend is a brick wall. Lisa has a sense of humour but she's got sharp edges and doesn't like looking like the butt of anyone's joke. And they all three have the _shiniest_ toys.

Boo seems okay but the freak thing creeps Axel out. People are not supposed to blow themselves up into magic smoke, and are sure as _fuck_ not supposed to be able to put themselves back together again. Axel knows how explosions work. Boo does not do them right. It _upsets_ him.

And he hates Sparky, although with the lightning and wind and shit he's careful about letting it show.

But Piper. Piper's around almost as much as Cold is, hanging off Cold's every other word, and offering up research details that Axel doesn't follow half the time. And he's just... like a glass vase. All delicate and precise and still and shining. You can't see something like that and not wonder a _little_ bit about what kind of noise it'd make if you tipped it onto the floor.

Axel's just curious to see what the guy's like when he isn't being perfect, so he... nudges. That's all. Little digs, little jokes. Anything handy.

And Piper gets stiffer and paler and more precise, and his mouth gets thinner and his eyes get brighter, but that's it. That's _always_ it.

It stops being any fun at all. And after a while Axel figures he might as well do something _for_ Piper, instead of just to him. If nothing else Lisa is starting to frown, and he does not want to be on the receiving end of _that_. So one night he deals out of the poker game and drops down on the arm of the chair Piper's sitting in, figures he can start a conversation but Piper just gives him a very drawn look and gets up and walks away.

Fine. He'll try later. And that's when he sees the rat investigating the back of the chair, slaps his hands over it fast and then picks it up by the tail and lifts it up and it starts squeaking.

"Hey, Piper!" he calls, eyes still on the rat hanging from his fingers; he rolls thumb and index together with its tail trapped between and it starts spinning slowly and the squeaking turns into a squeal. Guy's big on music and sound and all that, right? "Listen, it sounds like it's singing--"

And then Piper says "Leave her _alone_ ," and Axel turns to look at him and that's when he gets a six-pack in the face.

Axel drops the rat and ends up on the floor. Everything's spangly and bright and tastes like blood, and he's just starting to ask what the _fuck_ Piper thinks he was doing, Axel was trying to show him something neat and doesn't he recognize a peace offering when he sees one, when Piper kicks him in that sweet spot high on the stomach and low on the chest.

He stops talking because he can't fucking _breathe_ and falls back into the puddle of beer from the split cans. Piper should keep kicking but he drops to his knees to straddle Axel instead, and then it's just one punch after another after _another_ \--

It was just a rat. Who tries to kill someone over a _rat?_ Axel's found people who don't think of him as _someone_ , but he didn't guess Piper--

He tries to get his hands up, go for Piper's face or eyes or at least get those goddamn glasses off but everything's spinning and it feels like his stomach's trying to claw its way up through his throat. His lungs are hitching and he still can't breathe properly and the blaze in Piper's eyes says he might really not stop--

Mick picks Piper off him. Just hooks one arm around him and straight-up lifts him out of scrapping range and holds him while Cold and Boo are seeing if it's okay to pick Axel up or if they'll need a dustpan.

"Of course he's got a concussion," Boo's saying, and Axel is trying not to throw up. "Do you seriously think he'd _not_ have a concussion after that? Help me get him into the kitchen, there's better light." And someone's got an arm under his arm and he's staggering up and everything's _lurching_ and the floor's slipping out from under him. He sees Piper holding the rat, cradling it in one bloody-knuckled hand and petting it with the other, and behind the glasses his eyes are Paris green and full of a flat mad calculation.

There's no sense of humour in Piper's eyes, but there's something, even if it's getting fenced back in by Piper's usual calm. A kind of light. Axel gets people _talk_ about wanting to hit someone, even over tiny things, but it takes something special to be willing to follow through without holding back.

As he starts to catch his breath he grins.

For the first time since he got here, he starts to feel like something's familiar.

* * *

"--have to be _joking_." Axel's lying on the kitchen table with an icepack on the worst of the bruising and listening to the squabble from the other room. Boo fell for the _will I be able to play the piano?_ line and laughed a little, but she's not a big talker. Besides, she's listening too.

"You break it, you bought it."

"Why is he even still _here?_ " There's a pause and when Piper speaks again his voice is quieter. "I mean, if he's coming home with me, I'd really like to know why."

"Because there's a baby Trickster in my city, and I like knowing where it is and having it follow my rules."

"And having that while also getting him out of your safehouse and punishing me for hitting him is just a side bonus?"

"Always knew you were a smart guy, Piper."

Axel looks at Boo with the eye that doesn't have the pack on it. "So does he do that a lot? The punching?"

"I've never seen him like that before." She sounds a little unnerved. "You should probably leave his rats alone."

Axel starts to nod and discovers it's a bad idea. "It was kinda cute." He means Piper, not the rat. "Can I get the good drugs now, doc?"

"You can get over-the-counter acetaminophen," she says.

"Oh, come on. Guy tries to crack my skull and you're giving me cough drops?" He holds one hand towards her, letting it tremble dramatically. "Boo, that's not going to be enough. The pain. It's too much. I can barely move."

"That's good, because you shouldn't do much."

He grins at her. "'I've just got to do something because I-- I don't see how I can go on like this much longer.'" He's pretty sure she's not getting it, though. "'SOS. Help me. SOS. Help--'"

Boo moves towards the door. "I'm going to tell Piper what's okay and what isn't. _Listen_ to him, okay?"

Axel forgets that nodding is a bad idea. He's still groaning as she leaves the kitchen.

Lisa drives them over, and Axel gets the feeling she's trying not to snicker. Piper's place is... well, it's clean and everything's put away. Axel expected something fancier. The living room's got books, a couch, an open rat cage, and a flatscreen TV that looks a lot shinier than anything else. Piper mutters something about that being a gift from his friend before he not-quite-stomps off to get blankets for the couch. Axel doesn't mind. Couch-surfing's fine, and he guesses Piper isn't a creep to houseguests.

He's poking at the TV when Piper comes back. It's got an internet connection and a menu of all the stuff on it, although _all the stuff_ looks like maybe twenty movies total, which is just sad.

"I _said_ that was a gift."

"I won't break it," Axel says, holding up his hands. "Can I put movies on here? Boo said I shouldn't do anything too strenuous for a while, right? I can just sit and watch something."

Piper pauses like he's wants a reason to disagree, but he's already figured out Axel isn't the kind of guy you really want to get bored. "Fine."

"Awesome." Axel laughs and glances over; when Piper sees his face, he looks guilty and looks away and starts putting blankets on the couch. Axel guesses he's not at his prettiest right now. But at least it means Piper's feeling too bad to sneer at him. It's a start.

He thinks of Piper hitting him, no plan or second-guessing or worrying about how it'd look, and he wants to be around someone who can maybe cut loose like that, even if Piper bottles it up most of the time. And there's a massive difference between the kind of disdainful tolerance Piper is currently exhibiting and actually getting along.

It's like how anyone can do things _to_ you, but they can only do things _with_ you if you buy in.

The trick, then, is getting Piper to buy in. So he smiles, even if Piper isn't looking at him.

"Hey, Piper," he says, mild as he can. "I didn't mean to get you that mad. 'm sorry. I'm not gonna try to do it again, okay?" He means it. That light he saw in Piper's eyes, it's a delicate kind of thing, and Piper's so uptight. If it comes up too often, or kicks in too hard, Axel's pretty sure he'll freak out and lock it down and then no-one's ever going to see that lovely green glare again. "And'm sorry about your rat. Is it gonna be okay?"

Piper gives him a hooded glare. "She'll be fine, thanks."

"'kay." Axel pokes at the TV and decides to let it lie for now. "So, Boo said I could get painkillers?"

### Interlude

_He's still not sure which of Piper's rats are exactly pets or not, but Piper has at least one rat cage and three rats, and one of the ones that hides in the wall comes to him like a dog wanting to be petted, so Axel just decides the plan is not messing with rats. At all. Even asks Piper what to do instead of just swatting one of the damn things off when it crawls on him._

_Boo comes by to check up on him and then asks him to go outside while she talks to Piper. Axel sits on the front steps and smokes and waits. When Boo comes out, he offers her a cigarette. She shakes her head and sits next to him, and he holds his smoke politely away from her and grins at her. "You shipping me out, doc?" Please no._

_"You should have someone around for a little longer." She's not pleased, looking at his face. "Are you good? Staying with him, I mean?"_

_Axel laughs a little. "Yeah, he's okay 'long as you don't wind him up. And I'm being good."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suspect James Jesse (TV!James Jesse, who is about as far from comics!Jesse as Zoom is from Cisco) might be perfectly happy to play around with one of Darhk's apocalyptic plans, but as adoring as Axel is, his idea of Jesse doesn't need to map perfectly onto Jesse's actual behaviour. Or possibly Darhk _did_ actually mind-whammy Jesse; since Jesse's absence is purely a way to get Axel to deal with the Rogues, it's up in the air.
> 
> (Also, I cannot bring myself to write Axel as bothering to pronounce or caring that Damien Darhk has an "h" in his name, and possibly not even as knowing, so he's just "Dark" when Axel mentions him. Axel seems to be pretty casual about assigning names that he feels like using to people, in any case. (At least in this fic. He doesn't talk nearly enough in the "Tricksters" episode.))
> 
> References: Paris green is both quite a lovely colour, and an extremely toxic substance (and was used as a rodenticide; although I'm not sure Axel's knowledge of it goes that far, I thought it was a note worth mentioning). The words Axel is quoting to Shawna are from the end of _Johnny's Got His Gun_.


	2. The Slow Approach: Titus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel trying to be useful and make a good impression.

Near a week in, Axel's sitting on the couch one morning at around 1 a.m., pen-scratching out an idea for his gloves and playing _Santa Sangre_ on the TV, when that little prickle on the back of his neck kicks in and he looks over to see Piper standing in the hallway.

Which is how he finds out that Piper owns pyjamas. Actual not-sweatpants pyjamas. And slippers. And a housecoat. And he's got a glazed look in his eyes but he turns his head a little and focuses when Axel looks at him so he's probably not sleepwalking.

Axel pauses the TV. "Sorry, too loud?"

Piper sniffs at that like something's funny. There are dark hollows under his eyes. "I actually forgot you were here." He shakes his head. "I have a lot on my mind."

Axel gets that. "Tired and wired?" and Piper does a thing where he kind of smiles and his eyebrows drop at once and Jesus, he looks wiped.

"Wanna get distracted?" Axel says. Piper shoots him a flatly poisonous look and he laughs. "Not like that." He kills the movie and waves at the screen menu. "Pick something. It helps."

"You have to be joking."

Axel shakes his head. "Uh-uh. Gives you something to pay attention to. Lets your _miiind_ stop spinning like a rat in its exercise wheel." He twirls one hand in a circle and tosses the remote to Piper--a slow toss, like you'd pitch to a little kid--and the other man catches it by reflex. He looks down at it and back up at Axel, and Axel's got his best soft trust-me grin on, and...

Well, it's Piper. He's the kind of guy who at least needs to come closer to put the remote down neatly, 'cause he's not gonna drop it on the ground or _throw_ it. And since he's doing that anyway, he keeps talking.

"What did you even put on here?" Piper says, sitting gingerly on the far end of the couch from Axel.

Oh. Yeah. Axel considers what he might have that Piper wouldn't turn his nose up at out of the gate. " _Titus_?"

"What on earth is--" Piper is scrolling through the movies Axel's added, and pauses when he reaches the suggestion. "You watch Shakespeare?" He sounds surprised.

Axel shrugs. " _Titus_ is cool."

Piper looks at him suspiciously, and Axel rolls his eyes and laughs. "Piper. I get that I'm not your favourite guy, but you _literally_ know where I sleep and Ice Dad wants me to play nice while we're roommates. It's the movie of that Shakespeare play. I promise. Cross my heart. Try it."

Piper still looks suspicious, but starts the movie. He curls his feet up onto the couch and his housecoat pulls open, and the pyjama shirt even has _buttons_ on it. And a little breast pocket. It's cute. Axel smirks and pushes his drink to where Piper can reach it and goes back to doodling at the glove idea.

Piper starts to do that still-awake headbob before Tamora and Saturnius get hitched, and he's asleep by the time Lavinia's gotten her hands cut off.

Axel looks at him for a minute, figures he isn't going to move under his own power for a good six hours. The couch is okay but Axel likes the idea of sleeping in a bed. He could leave Piper here and just take his room for the night.

You can usually tell when someone else has been sleeping in your bed, though. And there's that weird thing Piper's got going with the rats. The possibility of waking up with anything _crawling_ on him makes Axel's skin break out in goosebumps.

He lets the movie keep running until he starts to yawn, then stays up to watch the dinner party anyway, and then he pokes Piper awake enough to get him up and back to his bed. The guy's back to sleep before Axel's even out of the room.

* * *

Piper sleeps until afternoon. Axel thinks about it, how to follow up when someone's started to talk to you and what you can do in someone else's house that isn't likely to accidentally piss them off, and heads out and comes back. When Piper finally does emerge from his room, Axel's nearly done putting away groceries.

"What're you doing?"

"Figured you'd want food when you got up," Axel says cheerfully. "Not that I know what you like to eat, exactly. So mostly just stocked up on what you already have?" He waves at the shelves with full hands; he's got two silver cans in his right hand and a third in his left. "And some cherry-ginger soda." He tosses one of the cans into the air, then a second, and by the time the first comes down the third's in the air, and yeah, he's still got it. 

Piper's watching him juggle, eyes wide and starting to-- okay, it's not a real smile, but it's that entertained you-are-being-wacky curl to the lips Axel can usually get out of people if they give him a minute. He stops before Piper gets bored and figures out that there's no way to _make_ Axel stop, not without at least one of the cans dropping and making a mess.

"I'll put these ones in back of the fridge," he says. "Should be fine by the time anyone gets to them. Anyway, yeah, I figured you looked pretty wiped, and if you had enough stuff you like around you could at least use it for breakfast or dinner or whatever you wanna call it." It's nearly three in the afternoon.

"Probably just make pasta or something," Piper says and Axel nods like it's none of his business and puts the last of the cans in the fridge. Passes on the offer of coffee and clears out of the kitchen and leaves Piper to whatever the hell he's going to do, now that he's woken up, and makes an extra effort to be quiet in the living room, and in a few hours Piper's standing at the living room doorway awkwardly asking Axel if he wants spaghetti since Piper's making it anyway.

Definitely a start.

### Interlude

_Lisa buttonholes him after one of the jobs; nothing fancy but the kind of thing that makes her happy, a little glitter and a lot of shine. So she's in a good mood when she starts talking, even if there's an edge on her smile. "I hear you're being decent since you moved in with Hart. You're not setting my boy up for something, are you?"_

_Oh. Post-placement check-up; Axel's done these before. "For real, I'm playing nice." Axel knows Lisa and Piper hang out sometimes, off-work. Doesn't think he's ever heard anyone call Piper_ my anything _before, though. "He's cool. Can I stay there?"_

_"You think that's up to me?"_

_"He'd listen if you said I should leave. And if you weigh in, only an idiot ignores that your big brother'd maybe agree with you." Axel grins. "Piper isn't an idiot."_

_Lisa sniffs. "You think he'd take roommate assignments from my brother?"_

_Axel's grin widens and he lifts his eyebrows. "I think Piper'd take a_ lot _of things from your brother, he got the chance." Lisa laughs, and Axel changes tacks. "If he was upset, I get you'd tell him to toss me. But I'm behaving, right? And I think he likes having someone around to be smart at."_

_And he lets it drop, because Lisa likes being someone you can ask for or about things, and likes it when you don't act like she hasn't figured out what's going on, but he guesses she hates being nagged._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Titus_ is rarely listed as a horror movie, but when someone getting branches to replace her chopped-off hands and people being fed their own kids is maybe half of the onscreen atrocity, Axel feels it counts. _Santa Sangre_ is a slightly surreal horror movie set in a circus and I'm not trying to summarize it more than that.
> 
> Probably the chapter that has me thinking the most about the distinction between being manipulative and trying to present yourself in the best possible light. I _tend_ to come down on the side of Axel's behaviour being the latter--possibly because he doesn't want Piper to like him so he can screw Piper over, he wants Piper to like him so he won't feel as lonely and Piper will like him--but I'm still hesitant.
> 
> (Small props to him for at least figuring out that the way to get someone to like you is not to follow them around and go on about how much you like them, but to actually present yourself as likeable.)


	3. Family  Loyalties: Spider Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axel trying to cope with worrying about Jesse, and incidentally sharing a little backstory.

The level on the fifth of rum has dropped by an inch and things are nicely fuzzy but Axel's still so angry he's shaking. The Dark guy moves too fast, okay, he clears out before they can get there, okay, he leaves people behind, _okay_ , they don't know anything, _oh-fucking-kay_ , but if they don't know anything it's not like there's _any fucking reason_ Axel needed to _leave them there_.

He'd have finished before the cops showed up. He could have. He could have.

"We'll find them," Piper says from the kitchen doorway and Axel doesn't even look at him. Nothing to see, anyway. The light's out in the kitchen and Piper's a backlit silhouette. Axel's been in here... since they got back. Because sitting in the dark seemed least likely to have him break something and there's really nothing to break except the TV or windows and Piper'd be mad.

Can't do this alone so he needs them all so he can't upset Piper too bad, can't upset any of them too bad. But he needs to make sure they get it right. "You don't know that." Just needs to understand. Pushes himself to his feet and puts one hand on the counter for balance and it's important to just-- "Don't know that don't know that _don't know that_ \--"

Piper flicks the light on and it stings even through the haze. This isn't working. Axel puts both hands to his face and it's properly dark. That helps, and he laughs a little. "He kills people." That's not the point, _everyone_ does that. "He touches them and they can't breathe and everything gets sucked out. He _breaks_ people. That's what he did. He broke Jesse."

"I'm pretty sure James Jesse isn't going to stay broken because he spends time around Damien Darhk."

"You _don't know that!_ " It's close to a scream, and he rakes his hands back through his hair. Piper's looking drawn and calm, Axel doesn't know how the hell he does it.

"Axel," precisely, "you need to calm down."

"No, I need to get him back. No-one else." No-one else is gonna save Jesse. Everyone knows who he is, or they should, but no-one else is gonna _help_ him. No-one else gets how wrong it is, that he'd help play a trick that no-one'd be left to talk about. That beautiful shattering godstar of a man doesn't do things to not be _seen_. "Piper, don't be stupid, you can't be stupid about _this_ , it's real. No-one else is helping him and Dark's got him all wrong it's not even like that time they drugged him at the Heights he's not okay he's not so _I have to_ _I have to_ _get him back_ \--"

" _Axel,_ " and he notices that Piper's been saying his name for a while and shuts up. Looks blankly at Piper, blinking. Cocks his head to one side. Piper has this look that Axel doesn't quite get.

"Let go of me," Piper says, and Axel blinks again. Realizes his fingers are sunken into the meat of Piper's upper arms and he's got Piper bent backwards over the kitchen counter. Doesn't remember grabbing him at all.

"What?" He's trying to figure out the look in Piper's eyes. It's _almost_ like right after Piper was trying to kill him; the calculation's there, but none of the fire.

"Let go of me, Axel."

Axel does and steps back. Holds his hands up 'cause he's not sure what to do with them. There's nothing to use them on. "Nothing's going to work," and he's saying that out loud and it sounds terrifying, his voice sounds shaky as if he's gonna start laughing and not stop. "He needs to be okay, Piper."

"He will be." Piper looks like it hurts him to say it. "Axel, listen. Darhk got lucky. It-- it's awful, but that's it. I mean, I _know_ a man who's beaten Darhk and he's not as smart as Cold."

Feels like the scene where the weird girl in the movie learns a thing about the monster. Axel's got his hands on Piper's arms again, and Piper's gone all stiff but whatever. "Seriously? _Really?_ "

"Yes, really," which from anyone else would sound like a lie but that's just how Piper talks. "I promise, Axel. Darhk makes mistakes. So we shouldn't. If you're going to help find Jesse, you need to take care of yourself and right now you need to calm down. Alright?"

Axel nods and laughs a little. Grabs Piper close for a second and hugs him, then picks up the bottle again. "'Alright'," he echoes, giggling a bit. Such a prissy way of saying _okay_. Takes another drink, but it's a hah-it'll-be-okay drink and not a we're-fucked drink, which he's sure makes a difference.

"--I suppose that's a way to relax," Piper's saying as Axel's swallowing. Axel shakes his head and screws the lid back on, although it takes him two tries in the godden sort of padded haze he's feeling right now. "Now let's try something else."

"You are _no_ fun," but Piper's taken the rum away. Axel didn't really like it neat, anyway. It's better as a mixer. "Piper. You promised, right?" Well, Cold did, and Piper's all tied up over that. "You won't hurt him? Someone-- someone else needs to not hurt him. Dark's a fucking monster." Piper hands him a glass of something clear and cold; a whole glass, and Axel gives him a _look_. "I can't drink that straight. I'm gonna be sick."

"It's water, Axel."

Oh.

He drinks, because Piper brought him good news and he's at least _trying_. "What it's gotta be like for him," he says. "It was in my head, Piper." It doesn't feel as bad now. He's not sure if the rum helped or the water or just Piper not freaking out _back_ at him, but it's a little further away.

Finds he can think about Jesse, now, instead of about what's happening to him. Jesse's a good thought. A better one, anyway. Realer.

"It was really bad," he says, putting the water glass down. He still needs one hand on the counter for balance.

"I can tell," Piper says. "You're feeling a little calmer?" Axel nods. "So we're going to do what you told me always helps, alright? Come on. We're going to go sit down and watch a movie-- put your arm 'round my shoulders, Axel, come on, I can't carry you-- and you're going to stop worrying about him for a couple of hours." Floor's swaying a little, side to side, but leaning on Piper helps.

"He's important, Piper." And he's standing up in front of the couch and Piper's trying to get Axel's arm off from around his shoulder.

"I know. But he's going to be fine, so you don't _need_ to worry--" Piper sighs. "Axel, _sit down_. I'm going to get-- Alright, now let go. I'm going to go get you some more water."

Axel lets his arms fall to either side and leans against the back of the couch. Looks up at the ceiling. "How about coffee?"

"Definitely not."

"I hate him." Adds in case Piper's about to ask "Sparky, I mean."

"Really?" Piper comes back with a glass in each hand and sits down next to him--well, next-ish--holding one out. "Why d'you hate Mardon?"

"Christmas." It's a bitter memory, but Axel giggles and hums a few bars of the carol with the bells before he gets back to words. "He left me in there. Christmas with Jesse and I _missed_ it. I shouldn't've missed it. _I_ never got one." Which is not okay, exactly, but it was something he'd come to terms with before Sparky just reached out and took it like it was nothing. "Why the fuck did _he_ get one?"

"I don't know, Axel. I'm sorry. It's not fair." He's talking in that kind of dancing way, like he's trying to say something behind the words, but Axel really doesn't care right now. "Finish your water."

Axel snickers. "Yes, mom." He takes another drink, then looks at Piper, puts his hand on the other man's wrist. Takes a deep breath and his heart's trying to climb into his throat.

"You think he's still alive?" 

Piper wouldn't tell him _no_. He wouldn't.

He doesn't. "Yes. The Trickster-- Jesse's clever. That's useful. I'm sure that if Darhk went to the trouble of getting his assistance, he'd keep him around to help."

"So we've got time." 

"We've got time. It'll-- be alright."

It's a steadying thought. Axel puts the water down, decides lying is more comfortable than sitting, and shoves himself the length of the couch, ends up using Piper's lap as a pillow. There's a funny little yelp from Piper, but he ignores it and picks up the remote, starts scrolling through movies. _Spider Baby_ sounds good. It's pretty fluffy, but he's feeling tired and that's okay right now.

He starts the movie and drops the remote. "Gimme your hand?" he says, holding his own up. And there's a minute of nothing and then Piper does, and Axel pulls Piper's arm across his own shoulder and just watches the movie. It helps.

He starts talking again when the delivery guy gets to the Merrye house, though.

"I saved him before, you know."

Piper makes a little noise of agreement. "You broke him out of Iron Heights."

Axel shakes his head. "That was just helping. I _saved_ him. No-one else does."

"What d'you mean?"

Mhm. Axel rolls his head so he can look up at Piper, who's looking more uncomfortable than you'd think. "Like, the first time. So you know he used to kill guards, right?" Piper nods. "One of them was someone's brother-in-law? Not a big deal, but I guess he was good to pass stuff along inside, plus he dies so his brother's upset so some Santini girl his brother's married to's upset and it just goes all the way up, you follow?" Piper's nodding.

"Anyway. It's Jesse, and he's..." Axel laughs. "He's made an impression, plus he's not easy to get to. So--this I got later, but it fits, you know?--there's a lot of back and forthing, inside and out, about if it's worth it to try something. And not everyone who's involved agrees so it's split but it's split the wrong way. And there's this one guy, Andolini--"

He stops talking. Onscreen, in black and white, Bruno's pulling up to the gates. It'll all be okay. After a moment Piper clears his throat.

"Axel?"

Axel giggles a little, but it sounds cobwebby. Maybe a trick of hearing, or the rum. "I think I was s'posed to kill him. I didn't. Mean. I didn't even _know_ I was supposed to or I'd, I'd... I just had an address and I went there and I said who'd sent me." Scary as hell, especially back then; he was a scrawny little goof who had no idea what he was doing. If he'd known what--

He maybe wouldn't have gone. That terrifies him, the idea that he could have _not done_ anything and then Jesse would have been--

What he _likes_ to think is that if he'd known then, he'd have found a way to get a gun and it'd have ended differently, instead of him showing up all grim and puppy-fierce, giftwrapped in his black-as-he-could-get-them clothes and shoplifted bracelets.

But he made it through. And it worked out. "Andolini changed his mind," he says. "And Jesse was okay. That's what I'm there for, Piper. He _has_ to be okay."

Piper's quiet for a moment. Axel figures he's gotten it through his head. That Jesse's important. That's good.

"How'd you save him?"

"Hmh?" Axel frowns up at him.

"The man you went to see was a-- a voice in the discussion," Piper says, "that was alright with the Trickster dying. If he'd died, then, then I see how that would have changed the dynamic of the conversation. But since he stayed alive, presumably something happened to-- make him inclined to speak more favourably-- of James Jesse." Yeah, his voice is doing that weird little dancing thing again, and Axel nods absent agreement and looks back at the screen.

There's a moment and then Piper keeps talking, although his voice is getting thin as hell. "Axel? I was wondering what that-- what the thing that happened was?"

Giftwrapped.

Axel laughs and turns up the movie. Bruno's tidying away the delivery man's corpse.

* * *

Yeah, _no_ idea why Piper's in his room swearing about Iron Heights and specific frequency and inmate medical records, but since he's into it and the word frequency is coming up it's probably part of that weird music thing he's got going.

Axel leaves him to it most of the morning, but he doesn't feel like doing dishes and wants to go pick up some stuff for that idea for his gloves, and also just for generally, so he knocks on Hartley's doorframe around noon. Asks if he wants to go grab breakfast at the Din and go shopping, and Hartley stares like Axel's dropped out of the sky.

He looks like he's coming down with something. Axel wonders if _Spider Baby_ actually gave him nightmares.

"Breakfast?" he says like it's a word in whatever language he doesn't actually speak. Axel figures there has to be one.

"That thing with food and coffee after you wake up?" Axel prompts.

Hartley blinks at him. "Sure," he says, getting up slowly, and then "Are you alright?"

Axel laughs a little. "Same's always. Why?"

Hartley just shakes his head. But he gets moving, and breakfast at the Din is always better than eating at home. The weird shocked look starts coming off his face about halfway through the first cup of coffee, although he keeps zoning out for a second or two, and looking on-and-off miserable for most of the meal.

 _Spider Baby_. Definitely. Axel wouldn't've guessed.

### Interlude

_Sparky isn't always at the safehouse, but he's around often enough to be predictable. And lately he's picked up the habit of taking Piper's drink and walking off with it whenever he gets up from the poker table to stretch his legs instead of getting his own damn refills._

_Axel knows it doesn't really matter. But._

_The next night he sees it happen he crosses over to where Piper's sitting, stepping out of Sparky's way as he does, and asks Piper a question. Piper's just getting into an answer about platinum flutes when there's a crackling blat of sound and a startled curse and Mardon's wearing half his drink and the other half is running out of cracks in the glass onto the cards in front of him and there's a haze of smoke curling up around him._

_Axel cracks up. Mick lets out a single barking laugh. Everyone else is either still processing it or has no sense of humour._

_"Oh_ shit _Sparky I'm sorry!" Axel sings out. "I was just checking the timing on that, I didn't see you take it!" He grins as Sparky growls and gets to his feet, and it might be the smoke but it looks like there's a cloud coming together around him, and Axel's heart starts to race. He steps back but he doesn't stop talking. " I_ never _meant for you to pick it up, can you imagine--"_

 _"_ Ira furor brevis est _," Piper says, and slides to the edge of his chair--not standing up, just getting ready to--and holds an arm casually between Axel and Sparky. "Really, Mardon?"_

_"That little punk--"_

_"He made you spill your drink," Piper says, and he sounds so very bored that Axel actually looks away from Sparky and at him. That calculating look's in his eyes again. "In point of fact, he made you spill_ my _drink. Just get another."_

_"Once I've explained a few things to the brat."_

_"He's not the one crying over spilt whiskey."_

_"He will be."_

_"Mardon," Cold says clearly. "Everyone else is keeping their cool. Sure you can manage it." Axel looks over and sees Lisa rolling her eyes before she puts on a smile._

_"Come back and play poker, Mark. It'll take me so long to finish beating Lenny if you don't help."_

_Axel starts giggling once Sparky's sat down and picked up cards, but quietly. Piper puts his arm down._

_"That was some pretty lucky timing you tested out," Piper says very softly, sitting back and looking at Axel out of the corner of his eye, and Axel loops an arm over Piper's shoulders and grins._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Spider Baby_ is one of those weirdly cheerful black-and-white horror movies. (Also Sid Haig's first screen role!) Given the themes of family being doomed to being monstrous, loyal protectiveness towards extremely dangerous people, the slightly slapstick vibe to some of the body disposal, and the general tell-me-a-story vibe, it seemed like it'd be one of Axel's comfort watches.
> 
> (Also the chapter where I realized that I wasn't writing Axel as only laughing because he's happy. Much the way cats can purr, he laughs when he's pleased _or_ when he's upset and needs comfort.)
> 
> I am fairly sure Hartley would have trouble bringing himself to explode James Jesse even if Iron Heights _did_ include the specific frequency of prisoners in their medical records, but he likes to be prepared for eventualities and gets frustrated when he can't be.
> 
> While I cannot bring myself to write Axel as actually saying Darhk, I also cannot bring myself to have Piper--with his attention to detail and focus on sound-- _not_ say it correctly, which means that yes, Piper's written as calling him Darhk while Axel sticks with just Dark. It's suboptimal, but of all the options it's the one that makes my teeth grit least.


	4. Poor Decisions: Demon Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to cheer Piper up when he's had a bad night and... slightly misreading a few things.

Axel's got popcorn, rum and coke, and the giggles from just watching the lawnmower scene in _Dead Alive_ when the door opens and Piper comes in, looking better than usual and rolling his eyes. Axel wasn't even sure he was coming home at all tonight, let alone this early.

"Didn't work out?"

Piper snorts. "I can handle insecurity." He sits down on the arm of the couch, wobbling a little, and starts taking off his shoes. "I might put up with it even if it breeds condescension. I am used to relative ignorance. But when those are combined with multiple mentions of his ex I damn well reserve the right to _conveniently_ get an emergency call to go in to the office to do work." He pokes the shoes into alignment with each other and glances over at Axel. "Hello, work. Bless the high-tech industry because their work hours are a perpetual excuse. And curse them for having so many people that are that self-involved. If I wasn't such a perpetual optimist..." 

Piper's smiling, but it's a thin smile, like he swallowed a knife and it cut him on the way down. Axel looks at him thoughtfully and kills the movie. The lawnmower scene was pretty much the highlight, anyway.

"Wanna watch something with me?"

"What're you putting on?"

" _Demon Knight_ ," he decides. And _Bordello of Blood_ after, maybe. They're funny--they're actually _trying_ to be funny, like, funny-for-everyone funny--and they're not really splashy. They're good I'm-sorry-your-date-sucked movies. Piper gives him a skeptical look.

"Come _onnn_ ," Axel says, grinning. "It's got a twenty-nine year old Billy Zane chewing scenery in cowboy boots," and Piper's smile loses a bit of its edge. "That has _got_ to be an improvement on your night so far, right?" He waves at the empty space beside him on the couch and shifts over to leave a little more room. Trying to make it clear he isn't hitting on Piper, even if the poise that made Axel try teasing him in the beginning gives him a kind of assurance that gets you looking twice once you see it. He's just offering to hang out.

And maybe it's Billy Zane or maybe it's just wanting to not go spend the rest of the night on his laptop or over his workbench, but Piper sits down.

"This one's kinda goofy," Axel warns, pouring him a drink. "So what helps--trust me--is take a drink whenever Zane convinces someone of something, okay?" He looks at Piper. "Some people do it when there's a joke or pun, but--" he taps Piper on the shoulder-- "you _cannot_ try that unless you skip the ones the Crypt-Keeper makes. You would die."

Piper raises an eyebrow and Axel thinks his smile's definitely mellowing. "I suspect I'm going to regret asking this, but what's the Crypt-Keeper?"

And Axel grins, 'cause this is gonna be _fun_.

The rum and cokes help, but it's Uncle Willie's club that finally gets him. Piper's watching with a kind of trainwreck fascination, but when Billy Zane shows up in the middle of all that T&A with aviator sunglasses he breaks down into the half-embarrassed hiccupping laugh of someone who really can't believe what they're seeing. Axel's watching him 'cause half the fun is seeing other people react, and Piper looks over at Axel and turns a little red but doesn't stop laughing--

Axel leans over and kisses him because that is just too goddamn cute.

Piper grabs Axel's shoulders but doesn't push him away, and Axel puts one hand on his side and leans forward, and Piper's mouth is open and wet under his own. Axel's licking the last nervous giggle out of it when Piper draws a breath and turns his head to the side. Away from the screen's light and Axel can't see his face anymore, just his throat and the curve of one cheekbone before the shadows swallow up details.

"We should stop."

"Really?" There's a pulse in Piper's throat, thrumming quick, and Axel draws his teeth over it, thinks about biting--gently--and doesn't. Tastes the heartbeat singing on his tongue and Piper even smells good, rich and spice-soft, breathing faster and running hands up Axel's back like he's something precious. The touch along his spine's a bright tease that's _almost_ right... "Use your nails?" He nuzzles Piper's throat and licks at the quick rush of breath from his mouth. "C'mon, please?"

"'s a bad idea," Piper saying into his mouth, the words sweet with rum and coke, but Axel can feel fingers digging into his back. Nails short but sharp, leaving crescent bites in his skin, tiny red smiles. There's a sizzle of light behind his eyes, the so-delicate cuts leaving him dizzy and hard, and Piper's repeating _bad idea_ and it sounds like music.

"So?" Maybe a little bit of blood at worst; nails aren't much of a problem. He twists up onto the couch so he can lean into Piper better, starts undoing the other man's shirt. Piper's rocking up against him, makes it harder to get the shirt off but they manage and the play of muscles under Piper's skin is so _alive_ under Axel's hands, the shift for balance and the flush of heat and he can imagine what the whole lean length of Piper moving against him'd feel like... "You never had a bad idea before?" And he doesn't understand why the line gets _that_ groan out of Piper, but he's not complaining.

Piper mutters something Axel doesn't understand, but the general tone is pretty much _oh, fuck it_ and he's got that look again, that giddy burning don't-care light in his eyes. Except this time he's not trying to kill Axel, just yanking his top off like it's personally offensive and pulling him down and doing a sweet impression of trying to eat him alive, and now Axel's the one laughing, not _at_ anything, just happy. It's been a while but this is good, so-eager hands and Piper's mouth and the scratch of nails, the taste of sweet drinks and sweat. He can feel Piper's heartbeat coming right through his slick skin until he pulls back enough to get Piper's belt loose and the angle's a little awkward but Jesus Piper makes the most fucking gorgeous noise for a second--

Piper pressing up against him and moving hot in his fingers, Piper's head arched back and hands on Axel's arms, biting back a string of words Axel'd love to hear a little clearer but it's sure as hell encouragement and he gets that Piper's trying for quiet. So he gets his free hand over Piper's mouth, pins him down against the cushions, and at that Piper's eyes close and he shudders and bucks almost hard enough for Axel to lose his grip, comes over Axel's hand and onto his own stomach with a muffled cry before he's lying there trembling and slack and gasping for breath.

Axel's grinning like a fool, but he guesses it's okay.

Piper's trying to sit up and Axel pushes himself back onto hands and knees and gets clear, makes room and reaches down and picks up one of their shirts--Piper's, it turns out--and cleans off his hand a little. He's full of that nerve-ending _awakeness_ with his blood buzzing hot under his skin and a high-end anticipation and yeah, okay, hard as hell after that, waiting for Piper to get his head clear and pull everything back into focus before whatever's next. Always more fun doing things _with_ someone, and he's grinning, watching Piper move in the bluish light from the screen and feeling giddy and fine.

"Ah, god," Piper's muttering, takes his shirt from Axel and he's wiping at his stomach, sitting up and leaning away. And he's got that can't-believe-it look on his face again like he's half-shocked to find himself there but he isn't laughing, and low and half-stunned but clear enough he adds "I don't even _like_ you."

Well.

_Well._

Good to know Piper can kill a fucking mood like he's run over its head with a truck.

Axel's grin hardens on his face. He feels it going from loose and warm to a thing all crackled with sharp edges and everything's cold and he shoves himself back to upright, grabs his own shirt up from the floor and yanks it on.

Wishing he'd bit, before. Wishing he'd done something to hurt. Thinking about pushing Piper back down, getting his hands on him again, getting them around his fucking smug _throat_. Seeing how _that_ makes him jerk and squirm and gasp.

 _I don't even **like** you_ isn't _tricked ya_ but it means the same, even if he didn't say it.

"Props on the timing," he says. It comes out a little cracked. His throat hurts.

Not even wishing that Piper would say it now, _tricked ya_ , double up to take it back, and then he's on his feet and pulling his shoes on and out the door ignoring whatever the fuck Piper's saying behind him.

* * *

Axel doesn't like throwing the first punch when he's trying to blow off steam, 'cause people are way more likely to run. Get them to start it and they're committed, and'll probably stick around until he feels better.

It's always the same fucking difference between doing something to someone and doing something with someone. It won't stop cropping up. But at least he never has to work hard to pick a fight when he's in the mood. It's easy to make someone else hit first.

People get so fucking sensitive over a bunch of words.

(Axel gets how funny it is that he's the one thinking that right now. He's not _stupid_. He just doesn't care.)

The first fight leaves him feeling a little better. The second's with someone who's got a friend trying to hold him back. It never actually turns into two on one but the friend does kind of tag in once the guy's spitting out gravel and Axel wouldn't count that as a whole third fight if anyone was keeping score, but it ends up being enough. He limps back to the house because there's nowhere else to go and his face and arms are all patchworked in the night air, cold under the sweat and warm with scraped bruises and sticky-scratchy where the blood's run and dried.

His keys are in his coat and he didn't bring it, but the front door's still unlocked. The living room's dark. He heads for the bathroom to get a better look at himself and get cleaned up. Takes a minute to grin at the face in the mirror before he gets the first aid kit out from under the sink.

Someone's moving around and he hears the front door getting locked, and then Piper's coming down the hall and stopping in the bathroom doorway. Axel flicks his eyes to Piper's reflection for a second and then goes back to wiping off blood. The middle of his right hand's bruised purple and swollen soft and tender. He guesses it's not broken but he might have cracked something, and it's going to go from purple to green over the next week or so.

He can ask Boo to take a look at it. She's a freak, but she isn't mean.

He hears Piper step into the bathroom and puts his hands in the sink, keeps looking down as they curl into fists. The ragged skin of his knuckles stretches under the water and stings, and threads of blood start seeping out. "Back off."

"What happened?"

"I went for a walk." Piper steps closer and Axel puts an edge in his voice. He doesn't want or need whatever Piper thinks he's offering right now "--I said _back off_."

"I just want to help."

Axel can feel something cracking in his throat. A smile, maybe. He's trying but he can't quite get one up to his mouth. Doesn't even look at Piper in the mirror. "Walk away, princess."

He gets left alone. It takes a while to finish up. It's not that there's anything really _bad_ , just a lot of little cuts and scrapes and he's sulky enough to use up the first aid supplies if he's got any excuse.

It'd only take a few minutes to rinse out the sink, wipe off the mirror, put the kit away. He doesn't do any of it, and leaves the bloody towel and facecloth in a petulant heap on the tile floor amid a litter of bandage wrappers. Stalks back into the living room and Piper's sitting there on the couch, hands on his own arms like he's hugging himself. The popcorn and drinks aren't on the table anymore, and he's wearing a different shirt, something clean.

It's like nothing happened. For a minute Axel wonders if it _did_ happen, touches his own mouth. The sting of his busted lip's an anchor to memory. The second guy got a shot in and Axel's head was almost full of stars and then he remembered asking _you never had a bad idea before?_ and the raw sound of Piper's groan and he got angry all over again.

"Get off the couch."

"What, what I said--"

" _Get off the couch._ " He takes a step forward and he wasn't planning on another fight tonight but he is fucking game if it comes to that. Being around Piper is making his hands itch through the burn and scrape on his knuckles. "I'm going to bed."

Piper slides away and gets to his feet and Axel notices how careful he is to not turn his back and is glad. "Axel."

And Axel actually _doesn't_ interrupt, glares and waits for who-knows-what, but for once Piper apparently can't come up with a fucking thing to say. Guess he's covered it all.

So that's all it takes to shut him up. Great to know. _Great_.

"Take a fucking hike." Axel lies down with his arm over his eyes. Doesn't bother taking his shoes off, and after a minute he hears Piper sigh and leave.

He can't sleep. He's hurting where the bruises are coming up and he keeps wishing he'd found something to say back--either time, _any_ time--and then there's this couch. This stupid fucking comfortable couch, big enough for two if neither of you are too big and you don't mind being on top of each other and maybe holding on.

He ends up giving up after maybe half an hour and getting off the couch to sleep on the floor.

Goddamn Piper and his mouth, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and that is how Axel gets reminded of the difference between someone just liking being _around_ you and someone actually liking you.
> 
> Hartley, for what it's worth, was not trying to be cruel. It's probably not worth much, when assessing the end result.
> 
> (The lawnmower scene in _Dead Alive_ \--also known as _Braindead_ \--is a sort of cataclysmically funny/horrible over-the-top... thing. I initially had it as the movie Axel offered to put on, but figured it would be a harder sell and less immediately funny than _Demon Knight_.)

**Author's Note:**

> This kind of ballooned--the initial idea was maybe three thousand words, tops--and resulted in me spending a lot of time thinking about the distinction between trying to manipulate someone and trying to present yourself to someone in the best possible light when you want them to like you. Also about the distinction between actually liking someone and simply finding them entertaining to be around.


End file.
